Updated: Oct 25, 2020
I love words. Especially when they move me. Not too long ago, after hearing a bit of my story, someone said to me, "Some people live the life they choose. Some people live the life that's expected of them. You are one of the former."
After 2 years of both solicited and unsolicited advice, numerous conversations about how and what I should be feeling and doing, research, thousands of questions running through my head, second guessing myself, THAT one statement was the ONE I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. A relative stranger hit the nail on the head and gave me permission to stop questioning and start listening to myself. To be fair, my intuition kicked into high gear not long after a life event turned my world upside down. While I was listening better it wasn't because I wanted to, it was because I was compelled to listen. I was no longer capable of reasoning and concentrating on the pragmatic and intellectual. If I didn't make a decision based on how it felt, the decision did not get made. As the dust has started to settle and I am becoming more clear headed, I am able to use both sides of my brain in many situations. I have always been that way, but I was using one side or the other. Whichever side solved the problem or made the decision better. However I have discovered that using BOTH sides of my brain at the same time is much more effective than using just one. The even better news is that I have found myself on the path to starting my life over in what seems to be a much more independent, promising and fulfilling direction. I lost myself on the 28th of May, 2016. A new person is emerging. I don't know her. I don't recognize this person looking back at me in the mirror. I don't always like her. But sometimes I love her. And I'm discovering that this new person has my best interest at heart. What a glorious concept.